Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

How I’ll Remember Edmund White - Vulture

The sadness was still there.

I had run out of hope.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

If Russia needs the resources to fund the war in Ukraine, why doesn’t it throw open its doors to visa free western tourism? Enough people would be interested, & it would start to get some hard currency as €, CHF, £, SEK, $, JPY in the tills at shops.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Have you or anyone you know invested in cryptocurrencies before? If so, which one did you invest in and how much profit did you make?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

What is the most popular song that includes the word "you"? Are there any other songs that use "you" multiple times?

Be who you already are.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

'Rock Showman' uncovers sandstone stegosaur near Whitby - BBC

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

I gave him everything. He said he loved me. Why?

I was tired of trying and failing.

I was tired of fighting.

And the sadness?

What I have noticed is nearly every girl I try to connect with whom reject me are in their early 20s why is that the case?

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Why did my ex move on so quickly?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

It’s still here.

Have you ever accidentally seen your mother-in-law doing something that was private to her?

You are like me, then.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.